


Lover of Mine

by YaminoBossBitch



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angry Vegeta, Angst, Arguing, Break Up, Chi Chi positivity, F/M, Happy birthday Buu!, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Scared Goku, Takes place during Super if that wasn’t obvious, Whis knows everything, almost break up, kakavege, probably pre-6th Universe Tournament, supportive wives, trauma mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaminoBossBitch/pseuds/YaminoBossBitch
Summary: “I’ll never give you away / ‘Cause I’ve already made that mistake”Vegeta and Goku decide to try being in a relationship with one another. But it’s harder than they imagined, and feelings and anxieties are running high. Maybe it’s just not worth the trouble after all.Angsty birthday present for my beloved Baby_Buu.
Relationships: Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Chi-Chi/Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58
Collections: Baby Buu’s Favs





	Lover of Mine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Baby_Buu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baby_Buu/gifts).



> CW: Polyamory, internalized homophobia, trauma mention, almost break up/break up, arguing, let me know if you would like anything else tagged. 
> 
> Happy birthday, Buu! I love you!

To say things were complicated with Goku and Vegeta was an understatement. It took the two men years to fully come to realize and understand their feelings for each other. It took even longer for them to say it out loud. For Goku, he was halted by a sense of fear. He didn’t want his friendship with Vegeta to be ruined, and he didn’t want his marriage with Chi Chi to be ruined either. For Vegeta, it was a mess of complicated layers and feelings.

Bulma was the first to mention it, gently suggesting that maybe his feelings toward Goku were about something other than rivalry. He was so affronted by this that he didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day. She didn’t bring it up again for a while.

It was when she was talking to Goku, and Goku began describing having confusing, turbulent feelings for her husband. She asked if he might be in love with Vegeta. He seemed afraid to answer. Bulma assured him it would be okay either way. Later that evening, she approached Vegeta. She delicately suggested the possibility of Goku having feelings for him, to which Vegeta scoffed. She asked again if he might have feelings for him. Vegeta angrily denied it and told her to stop asking.

She wasn’t angry or hurt by it, mostly just concerned. It was hard to see two people she cared about so much struggling with what seemed like an easily solvable problem.

The last straw was Whis. It was always Whis. The smug side-eyed glances, the cheeky smirks, he way he giggled behind his manicured hands. He knew too much. He knew _everything_. It unnerved Vegeta. He could see his knowing looks while they trained, his whispering to Beerus as they shared meals.

The sun was barely rising on Beerus’ planet one morning. Vegeta had woken early and decided to get some private training in. He was stretching and warming up when Whis approached and sat on a stump nearby.

“My, you’re up early this morning.” He said. Whis didn’t sleep. It was yet another thing about him that Vegeta found deeply unsettling.

“Thought I’d get some training in, away from Kakarot.” He said.

“That’s an interesting attitude for you to have toward him.” Whis said, sipping a cup of coffee.

“Why’s that?”

“Considering the fact that you’re in love with him.”

Vegeta stopped his warm ups and turned to Whis.

“What? Where the hell did you get an idea like that?” He demanded angrily. Whis was unphased, as always.

“Actually, I think it’s been causing some disruptions in your training. You’re distracted, holding back, repressing yourself, if you will.”

“I am not in love with Kakarot! Who told you something like that? Was it Bulma?”

Whis laughed, that haughty giggle of his.

“No, Vegeta, the only thing that told me that you have feelings for Goku were my own two eyes. You’re not nearly as subtle as you think. Then again, neither is he.”

“What does that mean? Are you saying Kakarot is—“

“You’ll have to ask him that yourself.” Whis said flatly.

It was an agonizing few weeks before Vegeta approached Goku.

“Kakarot!” He cried one evening as they were returning to their room. It all but exploded out of him after weeks of barely speaking to him.

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Are you in love with me?” He cried.

Goku was in stunned silence for a while.

“V-Vegeta, I...” he looked uncertain. Almost scared. A man who once fought a god on purpose was scared. This made Vegeta even angrier.

“Answer me!”

“Okay, I...I think so?” He stammered. Vegeta’s eyes went very wide. “Look, don’t be mad! It’s just all kinda confusing and I’m not any good at this stuff.” He said with a nervous smile.

Vegeta felt a whirlwind of upsetting feelings. Too many. For a moment, he couldn’t move. He wanted to scream and yell and punch Goku in his stupid idiot face. How dare he say it out loud? How could he just ruin everything like that?

He grabbed Goku by his tattered _gi_ , pulled him close, and then kissed him. Then he pushed him away roughly.

“Dammit!” He screamed.

It was a messy few months after that. It culminated in a meeting with the four of them, Goku, Vegeta, Bulma, and Chi Chi, explaining the situation. Chi Chi, it turned out, was the only one who had absolutely no idea what was going on. She was extremely upset. Crying and sobbing and panicked that Goku wanted to leave her. It took hours to calm her down. Bulma has presented the idea of letting their husbands have their own relationship, as long as everyone was open and honest, it could work.

It was weeks before everyone agreed.

Goku had hoped things would be easier after that, but the change was turbulent and frightening. Vegeta wanted to be with Goku, but it was like there was some unseen wall stopping him. He’d want to hold Goku’s hand, but then a feeling of overwhelming shame would take hold and he couldn’t. Goku would lean in for a kiss but Vegeta would turn away, the dreaded thought of _what would my father say if he could see me now_ echoing in his head. Guilt. Shame. It ate away at him.

Goku sat in the grass. Vegeta was late, again. He often was for their _rendezvous_. He didn’t like to call them dates. They were always late at night, when the moon was the only light, and he always kept quiet about where he was going and what he was doing.

Vegeta eventually showed up, and landed next to him.

“Hey, Vegeta!” Goku beamed.

“Hey.” Vegeta grunted.

They sat beside each other in silence. Goku was learning, or trying to, how best to approach things so Vegeta wouldn’t be upset. He gently brushed his hand against Vegeta’s, coaxing him to allow him to hold it.

“It’s a beautiful night tonight. Warm, too.” He said.

“Hm.” Was all Vegeta could say.

Goku released his hand.

“Vegeta...” He started. Then he hesitated. Then he continued. “Why do we have to meet like this?”

“Like what?”

“Always at night. Always in the middle of nowhere. Always being so secretive about it. I thought the whole point of this arrangement was that we didn’t have to hide anything. We’re not cheating on our wives, right? It’s like a mutual agreement we all have.”

“Well if you prefer, we can stop meeting altogether.” Vegeta growled.

“What? Why?” Goku cried. Vegeta didn’t answer. Goku stood up. “I don’t get this, Vegeta! I don’t get any of this! I thought you loved me! You said you did! You even kissed me. But now you’re acting like you don’t want anything to do with me.”

“What do you want from me? I’m here, aren’t I? Besides, none of this was my idea! It was Bulma and Whis and you all pushing this insane idea on me! I would have been perfectly satisfied just living my life pretending not to care! Now, what? You want me to take you to fancy dinners? Wear a suit? This whole thing is ridiculous, Kakarot! I don’t know how to do this! It feels wrong and strange!”

“You think this is easy for me? Chi Chi nearly left me over this! I have my kids to think about, too! This is weird and crazy but I want to do it! I’m really trying to give you time and let you do things your way but half the time it feels like you’re just doing me a favor. Do you really want to be with me or not? Because it feels like I’m putting in all this effort, even though it’s really confusing and uncomfortable for me, and you just want to sit there and be mad at me!”

Vegeta punched the ground so hard it left a small crater.

“What the hell do you think? Do you know what Saiyans did to people like—people like this? I can’t escape this shame! I can’t even look my wife or children in the eye! You think I’m not putting in any effort? Just the fact that I’m here is more effort than I can take!”

Goku went quiet. He looked down and shook his head.

“If this is so hard on you then maybe we shouldn’t be together.” He said.

Vegeta stood. He wanted to take it all back, but he couldn’t find the words.

“Kakarot—“ he managed. But Goku shook his head again.

He took off into the air, and all Vegeta could do was watch him leave.

He returned home. He felt empty. Lost.

Did Kakarot just break up with him?

Before they had even really started to be together?

“Vegeta? You’re home early,” Bulma said. When she saw his face, her expression softened. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” He grumbled.

He went into the gravity room. He turned everything to maximum and began to punch his way through everything that came at him. Dodge hit dodge jump dodge hit kick hit jump dodge. It was easy. Hitting things was easier than being in love with Goku.

Vegeta was so confused.

The thought of being with Goku had terrified him, but now? The thought that he had lost him, that he’d never get to be with him again? That was somehow even worse. He had been raised to believe that love between two men was wrong. Punishable by exile or even death. He was the Prince of Saiyans, he was supposed to get married and have children, heirs to the throne.

Not that any of that mattered now. There were no Saiyans. There was no throne. He wouldn’t be exiled or killed for loving Goku.

So why was this still so hard?

He couldn’t bring himself to just be with Goku even though it was allowed. He couldn’t take the feeling that he was doing something wrong. It was choking him, suffocating him. He didn’t want this. He wanted Goku, but he didn’t want this feeling of shame. This feeling that he was dirty and disgusting just for wanting him. Vegeta had spent his entire life burying his desire for other men under layers of denial and anger and now he was supposed to let the whole world see it? See him?

But if he loved Goku, if he wanted to be with him, he had to.

After all, Goku was putting it all out there. He risked his marriage, his relationship with his children and his granddaughter, his friendships, all to be with Vegeta. And what had Vegeta done? He had dug in his heels and fought every step of the way, made things impossible and messy and confusing. It was no wonder Goku thought he didn’t want to be with him at all.

_Thunk_.

One of the gravity room bots bounced off his head and he fell, barely able to roll out of the way in time for another laser to fire.

He needed to fix this.

Goku sat quietly at the table as he ate breakfast with Chi Chi. Goten looked between them with a curious expression. He had not been filled in entirely on what was going on. He knew that Goku had been spending more time with Vegeta lately. He didn’t know why, and he didn’t know why his dad always seemed so sad afterwards.

Chi Chi seemed concerned, too. Goku was stirring at his food.

“Is something wrong with your dinner?” She asked.

“Huh? No. It’s great.” He muttered. He continued stirring at it. Suddenly, Chi Chi’s hand was against his forehead, as if checking for a fever.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, Chi Chi, I’m not sick. It’s just...” he sent an anxious look toward Goten. Chi Chi didn’t want Goten to know about their arrangement just yet, she was worried he’d be upset by it. “Something happened. You know, with...” he trailed off. Chi Chi seemed to understand. She sat down.

“Goten, are you finished eating?” She asked calmly.

“Uh, yeah,” Goten said.

“Then you’re excused. I’ll take care of your plate, okay? You can go play.”

Goten looked confused, but he wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to go play instead of washing his dishes, so he happily climbed down from his seat and ran out the door.

When he was out of earshot, Chi Chi turned her attention back to Goku.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” She said. Her voice was low but calm. Goku hesitated. Chi Chi hadn’t been thrilled with this whole idea when it was first presented to her. She thought it would go badly, and end in eventual heartbreak. The last thing Goku wanted to hear right now was “I told you so.” He took a breath.

“Ever since this...thing started, Vegeta has been acting weird. Like, he doesn’t even want to be doing this. Like he doesn’t want to be with me at all. And from the things he said last night, it sounds like he doesn’t. So now I don’t know if we’re even still—“ he couldn’t get the last word out. It hurt in his chest. He didn’t want to think about not being with Vegeta, not after how much hell he had gone through trying to get him in the first place. It felt like things had ended so quickly and he never got to really enjoy being with him.

Chi Chi put a hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry, Goku. That can’t be easy.” She said.

Goku was a little surprised. He thought she’d at least be a little happy that it wasn’t working out for him, but she sounded genuinely sympathetic.

“I don’t want things to be over already. But I don’t want him to do anything he doesn’t want to either.”

“I’m sure you guys will figure things out. You’ve gone through all kinds of crazy things. This is a small obstacle compared to world-destroying alien monsters.”

“You think so?”

“Of course I do. The two of you always seem to find your way to each other. Just take some time and you’ll find a way where you can be happy together.” She said.

“I hope you’re right.”

“I’m always right. Now, isn’t it time you got to work?”

Goku was out on the field, planting rows of cabbage. It was a hot day and he was still feeling so sad and empty from his...argument...with Vegeta.

‘ _Not break up_ ,’ he told himself. ‘ _We didn’t actually break up._ ’

But he wasn’t sure is that was true. He’d never broken up before. He’d argued with Chi Chi before but the arguments never ended with suggesting that they shouldn’t be together anymore, and they were usually resolved before bedtime. Chi Chi yelled a lot but she was never as mad as she seemed, she just yelled when she was upset or scared. He wished it were that way with Vegeta, too.

“Huh?” He sensed energy rushing his way.

Vegeta’s _ki_.

He watched as Vegeta landed in front of him.

“Kakarot,” he said.

“Uh, hi.”

They were both silent for a long time.

“I...I don’t want this to be over.” Vegeta managed. Goku could see he was uncomfortable, shifting and not wanting to look directly at him.

“Me neither.”

“So how...what do I do?”

“Huh?”

“How do I fix it?”

“I don’t know,” Goku shrugged. Vegeta sighed heavily. They were silent again.

“Kakarot I’m...” he growled, as if struggling to say the words. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of this! Of being in love with you! There’s all this crap still in my head about it being wrong and bad and it’s like—like something I’ve been fighting all my life. Something I saw as negative, like an enemy. And now I’m supposed to turn around and accept it and embrace it. It feels impossible. But to run away from it, that’s even worse. It’s cowardly.”

“Vegeta, I know this is hard for you. I’m trying to make it easier. But there’s only so much I can do.”

“I know. It’s not your fault. It’s on me. I need to stand up. Face this enemy head-on,” he straightened his posture. “Kakarot, I love you.”

Goku smiled.

“I love you, Vegeta.”

“I’m not letting you go. I can’t be without you. I don’t want to. It’s going to be you and me until the end.”

Goku stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Vegeta, holding him close.

“I’d like that.”

(If you liked this story and want to know how to get one of your very own, check me out [here](https://chi-chi-mcroberts.tumblr.com/post/627008462566653952))


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